SGABF 2023 wrap-up
The experience was much needed. Even if I don’t want to admit, I think it was a really good thing that I’ve done for myself in a long time.
I had plans to booth but I was not expecting the opportunity to present itself so soon. I said yes and at that point had not even figured out what I was actually going to do. However, I also knew if I didn’t say yes, I would NEVER get around to boothing. First time boothing, period (shoutout yolanda, joyce and afiqah for inviting me along).
Sending my artwork to print was harrowing, I’m not sure how people are so chill with it but for me I was clinging onto it. I was afraid to let it go?
Self-doubt and severe imposter syndrome was a constant fixture leading up to SGABF:
I really tried to talk myself out of not going, even as I was packing the artwork, cutting namecards and signing the prints.
I procrastinated till the last minute to showcase any of my prints online or even promote the event THAT I WAS A PART OF. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I SO SECRETIVE ABOUT THAT SHIT.
I was NOT doing or feeling well at all. I remembered feeling sick to my stomach when the prints were all laid out in my room. The reality had dawned on me and I was not handling it well.
I was so worried about things that it manifested itself into a zine.
To put into context my worries:
Worry about printing
sending files to print
Did I send the right file? Where did I store the files? Did I email them today?
massive commitment issue to the final artwork
Am I okay with the artwork? Do I like it?
Having delibitating second thoughts about my artwork all the time. (example: I worry the artwork is ugly and I can do better. It’s not good enough.)
I trust the printers with my life, but I don’t trust myself.
Worry about stickers
Is this the right material for it? Is the sticker too big? Is the sticker artwork nice? Will people like it? Do I like it?
Worry about packing
plastic-free is not stress-free. I was stressed as fuck. ALL THE TIME. I was unpacking and repacking, folding and refolding.
chicken rice packet aesthetic: is it an aesthetic?
Worry about talking to people
Can I? Will I? What do I tell them? What if people say nice things to me? Is thank you enough? What do I even say?
After three months of preparation, the booth was a success, I think I did ok and I give myself a B+. Overall, lots more to do, lots to learn and lots to be proud about. Yes, the path to artisitc growth is paved with worry, self-doubt and delibilating imposter syndrome.
Welcome to the reading corner
Should this be a permanent fixture of the newsletter?
Really excited to get into queer, horror and controversial plot. Booktok has come through with some sick recommendations.
Currently reading:
The Vegetarian by Han Kang
Severance by Ling Ma
Finished reading:
1/5 frogs for Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid
very boring and overrated. The writing style was not enjoyable.
3/5 frogs for The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides
was good until the ending ruined it, not a good plot twist. Writing was okay.
3.5/5 frogs for The Confessions of Frannie Langton by Sara Collins
Came for the lesbians, stayed for the lesbians but it was not really giving, especially towards the end. Took me longer than expected to get through the book, not a huge fan of the writing, maybe the tv show might be better. Stay tuned.
Books that I’m excited to read and might get my hands on a physical copy:
Still Born by Guadalupe Nettel
Young Mungo by Douglas Stuart (I also want to own the hardcopy of Shuggie Bain)
With the closure of Book Depository, here is a resource outlining other book businessses (that isn’t Amazon), that we can support!
Things that i’m into right now:
America has a problem:
Doritos nacho cheese flavor
Audio smut (please listen from oldest to newest):
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